Friday, October 22, 2010

Col. Russell Williams

We get The Toronto Star. I hardly read the paper because it makes me angry easily. It usually contains nothing that interesting. Mostly, I read the comics and check headlines. There's a lot of news about this guy who raped and murdered two women, and he is an Colonel in the army. He also robbed numerous homes, molested others, and stole lingerie. Okay.

Yesterdays headlines:


First thought: Fucking sensationalits.

Reading the article honestly made me feel sick. Not because of what he did (though it was undeniably horrible), but the way it was written about. A big picture of him in lingerie on the front page. What exactly is the point of this? 

"You want to survive this, don't you?” he says to her softly."
Fucking sadistic newspaper freaks. I don't mind consentual rape fantasy, I enjoy it in fact, but these are some sadistic motherfuckers. The article writer is basically getting off on the rape and murder of some poor woman.
Oh, the places he’s seen! In prison, the loss of his souvenirs will bother him most of all.
Woman, I implore you to spend some time in prison. Heaven knows I haven't, but I can imagine that the first thing on my mind might be spiraling depression, regret, or PERHAPS contempt, but she makes it sound so... ... I don't know.
Yet he is evil incarnate.
Hitler, MAYBE, was evil incarnate. This man, though he took a very exremely precious lives and like to cross dress, and had issues, was not 'evil incarnate'. Just the power of those words. So fucking brutal. Is it wrong that I identify more with a murderer than the author?

He liked looking at himself in the mirror, but he never smiled to show pleasure, maintaining a rigid military decorum even while looking the perfect prat, a great big man in the pink sun dress of a little girl. Seriously. You should see the photos he took of himself in his own kitchen, like a huge dog in a frock. A leaf print. Strapless.

Here’s proof of how gentle and good most people are. Nobody laughed out loud. It would have humiliated Williams beyond belief. But it would have hurt the families and so no one did it.
>mfw she is suggesting he should be humiliated. aksjfsdg.

Haven't even read this one until now.
Men should weep.

They bruise women’s bodies, they humiliate us in the House of Commons, they expend great effort in keeping us pregnant, booting us away from the bigger salaries, they are tireless in their attempts at control and resent our efforts to advance. Frequently, they kill women. Russell Williams is a monster but there will be other monsters in the years to come.

We know this to be true. I am a feminist but all women know what I mean because they live it every day.
I really hate when people attack males and generalise. Imagine she took that and replaced it with "women". Or "gays".
>Russel Williams is a man
>Russel Williams raped and killed 
>therefor, all men rape and kill women and should suffer for it

Anyway: To the main point. My dad quoted the bolded part for me, saying he liked it, and I had to stop eating and almost started to cry.

As sickened as we were by Williams’ bored monotone on the subject of penetration, suffocation and strangulation, there was a comfort knowing that he walked into that small interrogation room puffed up and grinning like a big ole colonel and left like someone who’d been exiled from the human race

I found this... so... sad. SO sad. He may be a horrible person but I don't think ANYONE deserves to be 'exiled from the human race'. This man is just as human as any of us, however ashamed of that we are, however much we would like to believe the opposite. It is not POSSIBLE for a human to be inhuman. People who kill people have problems. No doubt. Serious problems. Either actual brain problems or seriously horrible life experiences. Reading "Becoming Human" (though I'm only around 20 pages in) is already enlightening. This poor man was probably never loved. His father probably beat him and called him a faggot and then vanished or something. His mother probably had issues and couldn't help him as much as he needed. *wikis* His parents divorced when he was six. When he was 16 his parents moved to South Korea and he was raised in a boarding school and was a prefect.
He probably went thought a lot of  damn shit in his live and repressed a lot. His father left and he lived alone when he was 16. He had to be a man. Then a prefect. Then he was in the army. He never had the love. The caring. In the Army, especially 30 years ago- homosexuality is a sin. Like, he is horrible, aweful but he is still human, do you understand? 
He has a double life sentence. What's the point even, why not just kill him? I guess they want, as my dad pointed out, for him to be an example for others with homicidal ideas. And the sadistic pleasure for everyone else as they watch him rot for the rest of his life. He's already tried to kill himself once in jail.

Exiled from the human race.
Like, fuck.

The corporate-style “apology” Col. Russell Williams fabricated and offered to his victims’ families in open court yesterday was his final insult, the last chunk of evidence of his pure psychosis, as if we needed more.

Here’s a sample. “I know that the crimes I committed have traumatized many people. The family and friends of Marie-France Comeau and Jessica Lloyd in particular have suffered and continue to suffer profound desperate pain and sorrow as a result of what I’ve done.”

Let’s analyze his corporate-style phrasing. “Traumatize”? Williams’ crimes didn’t traumatize the families. He killed their daughters. The families are finished off. They said so to his face in their victim impact statements. As for “family and friends,” that’s a phrase you use in a Christmas newsletter. “As a result of what I’ve done” is what you say when the barbecue explodes at the lake because you bought a discount propane tank.

In his version, his “assaults” caused his rape victims to “suffer terribly” and the families whose little daughters’ panties were draped over his face were “seriously distressed.”

No. They were scared out of their wits and sickened to the depths of their souls

When Williams was left alone to write letters to his victims, he wrote three brief sentences to his wife, the last of which was “I know you’ll take care of sweet Rosie.”

He was talking about his cat.

“Your Honour,” he began, and then came a long pause. Such extended pauses were a big feature of his 10-1/2 hour initial talk with his artfully helpful police interrogator Jim Smyth, and they were just as effective this time before a real judge and some informal citizen judges, i.e., not very.

But I’d say that a statement about the “stark horror” of yourself, as the judge later referred to it, is a social situation that is actually less awkward than making a speech at a family wedding. It’s perfectly apparent what you’re supposed to say.

You’re supposed to explain why you did what you did.

Williams has always been taciturn. It isn’t in his nature to expound or analyze, and it’s one reason he was an odd choice as colonel at the Trenton base. Maybe the military doesn’t do affable, and thus this awkward man with no chat or grasp of the appropriate thing to say to other humans was considered promotion material.

But if you were able to say it, you wouldn’t be a pedophilic, emotionless serial killer, which he is, which is why his tears were not for his victims but for himself. Williams was indeed terribly sorry, but only that he got caught.

I don't know the man obviously, but I don't think you can do this, with all the evidence he kept, with everything, without expecting to get caught. I think part of him was looking forward to it, when he WAS caught he revealed everything right away. Maybe he was put down a lot as a kid, grew up to be cold and repressed, and had to express himself in a way in order to get attention- so maybe someone might tell him he was bad, treat him how he felt inside. Maybe he didn't feel anything as all. It is quite possible.

It's just so fucking sad. I don't know. I guess I was just talking about it with my dad too much- who has very little empathy- who was saying that he is not human, he is "inhuman".

I think this man is VERY human. Frighteningly so. Sex was not originally a loving act. It is the fact that this is so human that scares us.

Let us destroy what we are afraid of.
That is what is human.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I have to write about a country for my World Issues class, and since I am going to Costa Rica in December I figure it should research it a bit :)

Size:  total: 51,100 sq km
country comparison to the world: 129
four volcanoes, two of them active, rise near the capital of San Jose in the center of the country; one of the volcanoes, Irazu, erupted destructively in 1963-65

Population: 4,253,877 (July 2010 est.)
0-14 years: 26.7% (male 581,916/female 555,216)
15-64 years: 67.1% (male 1,443,606/female 1,411,168)
65 years and over: 6.2% (male 120,969/female 141,002) (2010 est.)

Median age:
total: 28.4 years
male: 27.9 years
female: 28.9 years (2010 est.)

Average lifespan:
Total population: 77.58 years
male: 74.96 years
female: 80.34 years (2010 est.)

GDP (official exchange rate):

$29.32 billion (2009 est.)

GDP - per capita (PPP):

$10,900 (2009 est.)
country comparison to the world: 98
$11,200 (2008 est.)
$11,100 (2007 est.)
note: data are in 2009 US dollars

GDP (purchasing power parity):

$48.51 billion (2009 est.)
country comparison to the world: 90
$49.25 billion (2008 est.)
$48 billion (2007 est.)
note: data are in 2009 US dollars

Labor force:

2.121 million
country comparison to the world: 117
note: this official estimate excludes Nicaraguans living in Costa Rica (2009 est.)

Labor force - by occupation:

agriculture: 14%
industry: 22%
services: 64% (2006 est.)

Unemployment rate:

7.8% (2009 est.)
country comparison to the world: 80
4.9% (2008 est.)

Population below poverty line:

16% (2006 est.)

Costa Rican colones (CRC) per US dollar - 580.01 (2009)

Literacy rate:

definition: age 15 and over can read and write
total population: 94.9%
male: 94.7%
female: 95.1% (2000 census)


transshipment country for cocaine and heroin from South America; illicit production of cannabis in remote areas; domestic cocaine consumption, particularly crack cocaine, is rising; significant consumption of amphetamines; seizures of smuggled cash in Costa Rica and at the main border crossing to enter Costa Rica from Nicaragua have risen in recent years (2008)

refugees (country of origin): 9,699-11,500 (Colombia) (2007)


Costa Rica has a good climate, and is prime for natural exports, such as tropical fruits (bananas, pineapples, coffee, sugar, seafood, etc). As well, they have a high literacy rate, with 94.9% of the population at literacy. The average life span is fairly high, at 77.58 years. The prevalence of AIDs is the same as it is in Canada- 0.4%. As well, the unemployment rate is fairly low- 7.8% (Canada is 8.3%). The standard of living is high, and the beautiful country attracts a great tourism industry. 

Costa Rica has  9,699-11,500 Columbian refugees. As well, they have quite a high infant mortality rate at 8.77 deaths/1,000 live births. As well, they have issues with illicit drugs, especially crack cocaine.


To talk about the future of Costa Rica, we have to consider what they value. In their flag,  the blue color is said to stand for the sky, opportunity, and perseverence, white denotes peace, happiness, and wisdom, while red represents the blood shed for freedom, as well as the generosity and vibrancy of the people. Using these as a guideline, we can see the direction they wish to head. Perhaps in the future, they will develop more medical technologies (as that is prevalent in their exports as well). Also, hopefully they will be able to get their infant mortality rate down and help people live longer, healthier lives. Also, in the future they could focus on harm reduction for the crack cocaine, which may actually help with the infant mortality rates.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

False (Dumpster-Diving) Heaven

Edit: (Un)Fuck the System.

It was my second day with Second Harvest today, and probably my last. I'll have to think about it...

At the beginning of my shift, one of the guys who worked there asked me to sweep the floor, and then move onto todays 'project'- a giant stackful of fresh slightly bad fruits and vegetables to be thrown in the compost. GIANT. Probably enough to feed 500 people a meal. I saw that some of the stuff was not so bad, so I asked him if I could take some, and (I think) he said sure.

Happy as day, I swept entire warehouse floor, and sorted through all kind of disgusting shit, I almost puked... It was so gross. And, today I was the only volunteer (though I'd been promised there'd be 5-6 others). Rotten, sticky, wet mushrooms. Moldy corn. Nearly-mush fruits. Blackened peppers... But somehow I managed to survive, and pick out a grocery bag's assortment of completely random fruits and vegetables- a couple peppers, a few apples, some dates, a peach... I was really excited to take some back to my friend's community house and feed some of the more bruised stuff to my rat (yes, Kai'enne, it's a metaphor). Such a reward. I felt like I was in dumpster-diving heaven... Allowed to sort through the stuff before it even reached the dumpster. I didn't have time to sort through all the stuff he left for me, but ended up filling an entire green-bin FULL to the brim with food, and start another one.

Smelling like rotten mushrooms, I was told it was the end of my shift and gathered my stuff to go, including the grocery bag full of random stuff. I was so happy. This was so awesome... it was going to be worth it to sort through that foul shit. What a great reward. I even told the guy working there (he works in the offices mostly- as does everyone, I was the ONLY ONE in the warehouse the entire time... everyone was in their freakin' armchairs twittering and gossiping) how awesome it was I was going to take this to my friends community house.

"What? Nothing can leave the premises. It's grounds for dismissal. That should have been the first thing Nicole (the volunteer admin) told you."

"Well... .... ... she didn't... So I guess I ... can't take... this with me? Should I... just... leave it here? Put in the fridge...?

"Yeah... give it to me and I'll put it away... Bye, see you next week."

"Yeah... sure..."

HNNNG. I should have not gotten my hopes so up. Was my own fault, I guess. CLEARLY all that food that I 'rescued' can NOT be sent to any 'agencies' (I shortened the conversation, he mentioned "We have 20 agencies waiting on our list". The way he said it was so condescending, as well. There is no way they can send a single peach, a couple peppers, a mushroom to any 'agency'. It is going to go straight back into the compost and go to waste. What a fucking was of my time. What a waste of food that could've been used... So many unopened packages of mushroom, so many apples, so many things of coleslaw, lettuce, SO MUCH STUFF I THREW AWAY IN THE COMPOST TODAY. What a stupid, stupid system.

Sigh. I mean, I totally understand. They have to have a 'system' to make it work, but all that wasted food slips through the cracks. What kind of protocol is it that I can't take stuff that I was going to throw out? It makes sense and at the same time it's painfully stupid. I can't be part of an organization like that... It's just not me, you know? I can't bear to see that waste, and I don't want to fucking mop, sweep, sort rotten veggies or clean washrooms anymore. Maybe that's what they do at all volunteer places- give people the shitty jobs that they don't want to do. I guess I will have to find out.

Seeing all that go to waste is depressing... Personally, I need to be on the side where I am enabling people to help themselves (ie giving my friends food), not in the warehouse sorting shit that they couldn't deal with.

But maybe that's just me.