I'm collecting resources for my ISU project. In the paper happened upon this-
"The restaurant, located at 1322 Queen St. W., is run by the Capuchin Outreach to the Poor, a ministry of the Capuchin Franciscan Friars.
People line up outside for a chance to sit at one of the 10 tables and sample a hearty meal for a $1 donation. Afterward, they can talk over coffee or tea in the lounge area."
"In the next two weeks, a milestone will be reached at St. Francis Table, which has been feeding people for 23 years in Parkdale.
They will serve their one millionth meal.
But this is no cause for celebration, Brother John Frampton says. It will be marked as a solemn occasion, without fanfare."
I just thought it was an interesting way to look at it. Also, it seems like a really good place to go and get cheap eats. I'm pretty excited for this zine. Maybe it will be something I review and remake every year (though next year I might potentially be in Montreal, so perhaps I could do one for there?).
Last week at my volunteering at the soup kitchen (or whatever you wanna call it), I got to go outside with the coordinator, and talk to everyone before the meal and tell them what was for supper. It feels a little strange, in the way that I feel like they feel like I feel like I am better than them. I suppose it's just the way they look at me. Hopefully they will understand in time like they have with Alison, who is just an amazing person. I don't think I feel better than them. Mostly I just want to observe? Man, this blog seems a lot about justifying the fact that I want to help people. I should reflect on that. Maybe it's me, but it also seems that wanting to help people in this way is a bad thing in our society. I hate when I tell people what I want to do (social worker) and they say "Oh, that's so good!". It makes me feel... angry, for some reason. I just want to say "shup up. I don't want your validation." I guess it's because I don't want to be doing it because I want validation. It is valid in itself. It also seems people feed off of it- like, just by saying "you're such a good person!" they feel like a better person. Sometimes I feel like I'm really not such a good person. When I volunteer, and people tell me I'm a good person, I feel like a really bad, selfish person. I definitely want to continue in this field, but I want to not be a frontlines helper forever. It's fun, interesting, difficult, but, interestingly, it has a lot of stigma attached to it. It's interesting to find who I am in relation to this field of work.
Sorry for anyone who reads this blog. Understand that it is kind of steam of consciousness to help me figure things out, and for me to store information about my project. For some reason I don't mind the nice comments here as much as I do irl. Perhaps it's because it feels more like feedback, you are anonymous (mostly), so you can say what you want. I'm not sure how I really want people to respond when I tell them what I'm doing. I guess the validation is okay to a degree... hm... What do you think I want?